“Argh what are we going to do? Life is so hard sometimes…” was a sentence five of us found ourselves saying one warm evening on a paradise island in Indonesia whilst sipping on ice cold beers, tucking into perfectly cooked steaks and all heavily focused on our phones google maps.
The stressful conversation about which country we should travel around next, continued on for a lot longer than it should have done before someone pointed out we should stop, literally replay the whole conversation in our heads and remember a day when we had an actual problem.
We all fell about laughing as it dawned on us; this was the biggest conundrum of our lives right now. Talk about first world problems.
It was funny because it was the first time I have ever felt like the world was my oyster – cheesy but true – and here we all were moaning about it.
It really did get me thinking about the previous three months of travelling and how many times we had all whined about experiences and daily issues of a backpacker, that in normal, future life we will kill to re-experience.
I’m hoping this isn’t coming across as being ungrateful or spoilt and I’m pretty sure every backpacker must feel the same and be able to relate to half the world-ending issues you face when travelling.
So here it is, my first world, backpacker problems.
- Moaning about the weight of your bag, getting someone else to carry it, but then wanting to go into another tat shop for one more sarong and beach dress.
- Back sweat from said bag.
- Having absolutely nothing to wear in said bag because you have worn everything 5 times over.
- Also you now can’t fit into ANY clothes because you have six YOLO moments a day at meal times and when alcohol is on the cards.
- Moan about going out for dinner every single night because you cant decide what you want.
- When you do decide what you want, the meal that arrives definitely isn’t that.
- It probably wouldn’t even be classed as ‘a meal’ anywhere else.
- It was also the same price as 5 beers.
- The beer is 25cents but you prefer wine…and that’s nearly $2…outrageous.
- Getting ripped off with every single thing you purchase. Even if it is by $1, that’s not the point.
- Getting really frustrated because the perfect white sand is the annoying type that refuses to get off your body.
- It becomes more adamant it won’t leave when you get out the tanning oil.
- Any form of sun cream/oil is a day’s food budget, but the sunglasses burn lines are never a good look.
- However three pairs of sunglasses have already been lost in the sea so I guess number 4 is redundant.
- The beautiful blue sea is also an aggressive bastard and randomly throws you on your head without warning.
- It is impossible to pull a comb through your hair after the beach, shaving it off crosses your mind.
- Not that you still have a comb…that got lost in the hostel on the first day.
- Leaving your conditioner in the communal shower and running back 5 minutes later and someone has already nabbed it.
- ‘Beach hair’ is NOT how it looks in the magazines.
- However for some people on the beach this isn’t the case and they look straight out of a surfing advert…the next 10 minutes will be spent giving them evils.
- Never being able to get that perfect beach photo because ultimately you look like shit.
- Getting bored of sunbathing.
- Feeling too pale.
- Moaning that you spend too much time on beaches.
- Moaning even more when you arrive at a place that doesn’t have a beach.
- People that want to talk to you when you are sunbathing with a book or headphones…this is rude please leave.
- It’s too hot.
- The aircon is too cold.
- Meeting someone new and having the EXACT same conversation every time. Where are you from, where have you been, where do you go next?
- Getting annoyed when no one speaks English.
- Getting more annoyed when someone asks you why you haven’t tried to learn the local language.
- Feeling like you have to be sociable when you just want to watch a film in bed with a pizza.
- People comparing passport stamps.
- Being forced to drink for the 8th night in a row, even though you KNOW 6 months down the line you would give your right arm to go back to one of these beach parties.
- Going out, getting very drunk and forgetting to buy water ready for your morning dry mouth.
- Having no other liquids in or around your room and having to do the unthinkable…tap water.
- Majorly regretting tap water when you end up in the toilet the whole day.
- The bum gun is left-handed.
- Spraying your legs with the bum gun.
- SQUAT BOGS. This is probably the most rightful moan any backpacker can have!
- The WiFi won’t load Facebook.
- Facebook is banned…as well as every other website you need in life: Google, twitter, instagram…WHAT IS LIFE.
- Sick of tuk tuk drivers and taxi drivers and wishing you had your car.
- Having to get the currency converter app up on your phone every time you enter a shop.
- Not having ANY along time with your BF/GF
- Other people not having any alone time but not letting that stop them in an 8-bed dorm on a squeaky bunk bed.
- Eating Mc Donalds far too much because you’re so over being cultured and getting sick from the local food.
- Not managing to find one decent cup of coffee for at least a month at a time.
- Missing routine…then remembering that this involves working.
- Coming to the end of your travels and moaning that you moaned about all of the above.
I hope this isn’t just me, and other backpackers can actually relate to some of these, and maybe a few more I’ve missed?!
So although we all moan about these insignificant factors…I would do anything to have only this to moan about once again!